Merry Christmas!

Getting Closer...

We are headed into the home stretch to bring Matthew home. We hope to receive our travel dates in the next weeks. We have a slight chance to travel in the end of January and a better chance later in February after Chinese New Year.

We have Matthew's room ready, but we are pretty sure he will end up sleeping in our room. We have been told to expect he might even still take a bottle. It is more the norm there, regardless it will give us a better chance to hold and bond with him. We still haven't received an update since his last measurements in the spring. I at least have a little bit of clothing covering the entire 18 months to 3t range. I have told Shelby to expect to go shopping while we are over in Ch!na as we figure out more of Matthew's needs.

Some other families that have recently travelled to pick up their children suggested we bring him his own bag to hold some of his own things. So we did pick up a tiny Thomas backpack to take with us and Jeff requested that our littlest future Asian Zip's fan have his own Zippy, too.

So excited to be bringing him home soon. Just want to hold my boy...

List of random acts of kindness

I saw this on another blog to do random acts of kindness...

*Cupcakes to bank
*Leave encouraging notes or gift cards on cars
*Volunteer your time
*Buy someone’s breakfast/lunch/dinner
 *Send flowers or giveaway flowers
*Doughnuts to school
*Take balloons and/or treats to hospital
*Pump someone’s gas
*Go caroling
*Carepacks for homeless
*Feed parking meters
*Leave a big tip
*Anonymous chalk art or door hangers
*Food gift cards for homeless
*Give gift card to shopper or leave in shopping carts
*Gift cards for single parent
*Birthday/Christmas bag drop
*Make & leave bookmarks at library or bookstore
*Hide $1 bills at Dollar Tree
*Over pay for Contributor newspaper
*Sticky notes on public bathroom mirror
 *Treat for Salvation Army bell ringer
*Donations to Crisis Pregnancy Center
*Tip drive-thru worker
*Muffins to pediatricians office
*Hold the door for shoppers
*Decorate someone’s porch or mailbox
*Leave change at laundromat
*Return shopping carts from parking lot
*Tape change to vending machine or bubble gum machines
*Pay strangers over due fees at library
 *Gift wrap presents for free
*Treats for library workers
*Adopt a family for Christmas
*Bag of groceries with recipes to a family
*Pass out candy canes
*Paint rocks and leave for others to find
*Popcorn, candy & movie rental bucket to a family
*Babysit for couple/single parent
*Handmade cards to nursing home
 *Pay for someone’s Santa picture
*Giveaway balloons/stickers/books to kids shopping w/parents
*Treat for mailman, post office workers, trash collector and/or police & fire station
*School supply donations to a classroom
*Bring up neighbors trash can
*Gift or flowers for custodian at school
 *Give genuine compliments
*Card for loved one
*Pay for car behind you in drive thru line
*Mail handwritten letters of encouragement
*Pick up trash
*Coffee for people waiting for bus or outdoor workers
*Donate blood
*Treat for bus driver
*Donate non perishables to food pantry
*Gift card for all night gas station/store worker
*Share Sonic happy hour
*Leave surprises at playground (Coins, small toys, filled Easter eggs)

Tis’ the season for kindness…you know you want to do it too.

We got the Golden Ticket

I came home Thursday after running some errands and there it was sitting in my email.  I know what Charlie Bucket in Willy Wonka felt like when he got the golden ticket - we finally got our LOA (letter of approval) to adopt Matthew after an 80 day wait.   This doesn't end the paperwork yet, but it's a HUGE step and it also gives us a better idea of when we will get to go to Ch!na. Looks like 10-12 weeks from now, but I am sure we will need to figure in some holidays (both American and Chinese). End of January or February is looking like our time to travel.

 

Jeff celebrated a birthday this week, too.  Since we are in penny pinching mode (nothing like Christmas and finalizing an international adoption all at the same time - yikes!!), he got to have "practical stuff for our trip" birthday this week.  He was so excited that I gave him travel toilet paper (public bathrooms in Ch!na don't usually have any), new socks & underwear, Pepto Bismol, and a new shaver.  Lots of anticipation for Christmas - maybe Santa will bring us some hand sanitizer and a travel power adaptor???   

 

 

We are so thrilled, humbled and nervous to be going ahead. It's so crazy going into this next part of our lives with so many unknowns.  I feel like we have won the lottery and are getting to jump off the side of a cliff x 1000000 all  at the same time.   Soli Deo Gloria

Impromptu picture in Jeff's office to sign the "golden ticket".

 

Never say never

This has been the year for "never thought I'd be doing that...". Almost 17 years ago, we put together our first baby items. Who would think we would be doing it all again?

Last week, my dear sweet buddies Diane and Rhonda gave me baby shower (again never say you're never be having one of those again). It was a china and tea room theme - two of my favorite things. We received many nice things and what a blessing when you are starting from scratch. People also brought baby items to be donated to the orphanage when we go to China.

With the money and gift cards we received, we were able to buy a car seat, monitor and stroller. Jeff and I had a rare night of shopping, and we went through the baby department at Target. It almost felt like we were going to get caught and we really weren't supposed to be there. Having been a younger parents the first time around, I forget that plenty of people in their 40s have small children and really not so uncommon.

I even got to do a test run of some of the new items this week. I watched my godson yesterday who is the same age as Matthew. The new grocery cart was a hit (as was the box it came in). I have also determined, we will need baby latches on the cabinet that houses the DVD player and Robbie's room will need a latch or gate (too many exciting things within reach). I was also amazed how little 19 months really is, but reaffirmed what a fun age this also can be. Boy is our life gonna be a changing!

Discounts

Shelby came home with an interesting story yesterday. As they were discussing Ch!na in one of her classes, a person spoke up and said "I have this friend on facebook and her family is adopting a little boy from Ch!na with a facial disfigurement. Since he has that problem that get a discount on him."

Huh? Funny enough the person didn't even realize that Shelby was in her class at the time when she said it. And what about this discount?? Not sure where that came from, but I would like to reassure everyone there wasn't any discount. I am thrifty though and I don't mind admitting that. Our Matthew is worth a billion catrillion zillion dollars just for the record - no discounts though.

I was split on whether I should even bring that person's comment up. It's hurtful, but and I know Matthew will one day read this blog. By that time I am sure he probably had heard it all before. There is a lot of ignorance in this world and I too have been a big offender. A lot of grace and a little re-education can go a long way to change how a person perceives someone.  Hopefully that's enough to open their heart a little wider, too. 

So Matthew when you read this please just roll your eyes, shake your head and be armed with a lot of grace.  We dreamed of you, excitedly hoped for you, prayed for you, and checked our emails every 15 minutes for 9 months to hear even the slightest bit if information about you - you were created at the exact time for big reasons just the way you are. Did I mention handsome too? And no we didn't have a coupon.

Traditional and Waiting Child program

I thought I would take the time and educate a little bit on adoption in Ch!na ( I am not an expert by any means, I just play one on this blog ;) When you adopt from Ch!na there are basically a couple of ways you can go - traditional (a child with no known special need) or through the waiting child program (a child with a special need). Children from the traditional program usually tend to be adopted while they are still babies and the current wait for families to adopt is 6-10 years (maybe that should be called the waiting family program?). There are more people wanting to adopt than there are available children. Almost always the children are female.

Children from the waiting child program can be babies up to age 14 of either gender. The types of special needs vary - being an older child, birthmarks, missing fingers or limbs, Down's Syndrome, any type of heart defect, clefts and even eczema. This list goes on... Sometimes if the need is easily correctable, the need is repaired in Ch!na before the kids are placed with their families, but usually not. There is obviously a huge range in the level of needs and of course some children might have multiple needs. Shelby (hemangioma) and Robbie (asthma and eczema) might have been considered waiting children too, had they been born to families that were unable to care for their needs.

The process to adopt a waiting child averages anywhere from 1-2 years depending on how you start the process. There are many more waiting children than there are families able to adopt them. I wish the process was easier and faster with all the kids that spend another day or another year without parents. I understand that the process is there to protect the children, but it is still hard to fathom with so many millions ( estimates of 146 million around the world) of children waiting.

Kids in Ch!na become orphans for many many reasons. Sometimes it's due to the one child policy, maybe they are too poor, maybe parents can't afford medical treatment, or maybe for the same reasons it happens around the world. Poverty in Ch!na and around the world is much much more extreme than we know here. Birth parents in Ch!na must abandon their children to relinquish them without a trace of their identity (or face punishment) so often the reason is never known.

I am in a group on facebook with about 250 others parents who are all in somewhat similar places in our paperwork/waiting game. From what I can tell, we are all adopting kids from the waiting child program. These parents are from all around the world and I have never seen such a group of people more amped up for adoption, anxiously awaiting to bring their kids home. Many are adopting for the second or third time. It is just so cool to see the new lives and families that these kids have waiting here across the ocean. I hope they all learn in time how much they are already loved and were prayed for. How precious we see them and how utterly precious God sees them. How God indeed has a plan for them and part of that plan has always been to be a part of our families.