It was just a little over a year ago, that Jeff turned to me while we were riding in the car and asked if I still wanted to adopt. We had originally talked about adoption early on in our life together because we weren't sure if we would be able to become pregnant due to some previous health problems. That myth was soon dispelled. Over the years I would jokingly throw adoption around, but nothing really serious. That was something other people did, not our family. It was about 4-5 years ago, God really brought it to my attention. A friend from college, adopted a little girl from China. Their journey pretty much rocked my world and my thinking. Our friend even suggested we think about adopting, too. Yeah right! Again that was something other people did...
None the less, I decided to put adoption on the last page of my journal and I mentioned it in my prayers. I was revisiting that list last December and went whooaa. It still was on my mind and heart. I started looking at my life, too. We were really at a nice comfortable time in our lives, did I really want to rock this boat? Hello? - we have a child going to college soon and we were in the midst of our ten years of fixing up the house. Hello? - my kids go to bed by themselves and no one is in diapers. We had no toys in our living room! No big stores of cash hanging around to finance an adoption either. And we can all finally ride all the roller coasters together we want ( ok that one was lame!).
So, I changed my prayer a bit... I asked God if this was something he wanted us to do please make it ok with Jeff's heart and have him come to me. Jeff is my planner and he is so practical and sensible. A trait that I originally didn't appreciate, but I really have come to love. I needed to hear it was a good idea, not just a crazy idea of mine. I also needed to hear he wanted this as badly as I did and that we at least had a chance to make it happen. I also mentioned in my prayer, that if Jeff never came to me or didn't have a heart for it that I would be ok with that, too. So when he turned to me in the car a few weeks later, his heart really was in the same place as mine. God does answer prayers. Over the past year, when I have felt overwhelmed - Jeff has been our biggest cheerleader. It is an amazing feeling to jump off the side of a cliff holding hands with Mr Practical. Thank you God for giving me just the person you made for me.
It also has been a tough year. Can I tell you something weird though, it has given us the ability to step out of our everyday lives and look at everything in a totally different way. The stuff that mattered last year, doesn't really seem to matter so much this year. Two people that were "done having kids" have aching hearts to be parents to a little boy that they don't even know, who will leave toys in the living room, wear diapers and not be able to ride roller coasters in the near future. Money that was no where near budgeted, has "shown up" along the way just when we needed it and we squeaked by. People have said Matthew is so blessed to be getting a family, but the bigger blessings are really ours and more are yet to come.
Humbling to think that my blog was an influence in bringing Matthew home! Looking forward to meeting him... so excited for you guys. Your decision came as no surprise to me...
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