One Year!

Can you believe it's been a year since Matthew has been ours?  What a year - 1 trip to China, 7 airports, 4 surgeries, 3 nights in the hospital, a lot of suckers, 1900 diapers (give or take a few) and 4 drums.  What a joyful crazy adventure it has been! Its been amazing to see how far we have come from the family that waited in that Zhengzhou Civil Affairs office one year ago today for Matthew to arrive from his orphanage. 

Back then, we had some pictures and just some brief descriptions of Matthew - there were SO many what ifs and unknowns.  It was such a leap of faith to be even standing there waiting for him to arrive.  However, Matthew took the biggest leap of faith ever - with only a bun in his hand and a small plastic bag with all of his possessions (2 diapers, a blanket and a photo album that we had sent that he had never seen before).  He left everything he knew and surrendered it all to be placed into the hands of strangers. Matthew was actually all smiles at that office, but the next few days were so hard for him.  I can't even fathom what that must have felt like.  He didn't understand this new life with these two strangers, often pushing us away one minute and clinging to us for dear life the next. Thank you dear boy for doing a whole lot more clinging than pushing away!

 

Matthew has been changing by leaps and bounds! I just measured him over the weekend and he has officially grown 7 inches in one year.  Matthew is now stringing lots of words together, but he is still kind of hard to understand at times.  My favorite thing for him to say is "Love you big, all the time!".  He still loves curious George, trains, pancakes, football, candy and drums. He also can tell us he is from China, but I am sure he doesn't quite understand it. He loves to watch and act out the drum battle scene from the movie Drumline - he has so many of the moves perfected and can count off a cadence. If it is just Matthew and I during the day, he still will rarely leave my side.  It saddens me how panicked he gets if I go to the basement for something quick or am not at his bedside in under 2 seconds.   Thankfully, he has been going to the church nursery with minimal fuss, he will leave me to go into another room to play with his buddy Kaden and he sure enjoys going to Grandma's (aka Ma)to spend time with her - so we are making progress! 

Sneak peak at his face without a bandage.  The scars are actually much more visible than what this picture shows.

His face is still on the mend and we are still seeing signs that it is moving in a positive direction.  We will return to Cleveland Clinic again in February to meet with his whole team of doctors.  There is a good chance the steri-strips can come off at that point. Doctors are still keeping an eye on a little pocket of either fluid or fat that is still present in his cheek. Slowly, a little more bruising is also starting to disappear.  Time will tell if the lymphatic malformation is a one and done kind of thing or if it will be something that always needs more attention.  

 

   

Funny, I would have never dreamed at 41 that we would be starting over with a two year old.  When we got pregnant with Shelby when we were just 23 - one of the perks was that we would be fairly young still once all our kids had left the nest - Ha! Now that Shelby is getting ready graduating, I have come to the conclusion that I not happy about that nest getting any emptier. (Yes - we are praying and talking about adopting again!! No definite plans as of yet though, hoping God throws that door open again for us.) A full nest makes this mom happy, even if her littlest bird is playing the drums ALL the time.  Happy Forever Family Day Matthew Hui - we love you FOREVER - ALL the Time - BIG!!

Under Destruction Again

 

I believe we are on phase 4 of our home remodeling efforts spanning the last 11 YEARS!  We (I really mean Jeff) have taken out the last of the knotty pine in our hall way, drywall will be going up and a new floor will be laid.  So compared to taking off our roof and adding another story - this should be easy peasy?? I dare not even say those words...   I would like to go on the record that now since all my knotty pine is gone, it will sure to be the next big thing on HGTV - mark my words!  Little man was excited to "help" out Daddy with his new tools he received for Christmas.  Last night, our little sweetheart climbed up on Daddy's lap as he was napping in the recliner and proceeded to use the toy electric nail gun to zap Jeff in the forehead (not to worry it doesn't shoot any nails out).  But believe me, the toy nail gun with the blinking lights and loud zapping noise will wake anyone up - instantly.   

 

 

 

Seeing how God sees

 I read recently read that when you pray to God you are not asking to change his mind, you are really asking to see how God sees things.  Wow! I had never heard it explained that way before.  It got me thinking... I have a child in my Sunday school class that I really do love, but most times I feel I fail pretty miserably at being his teacher.  He looks bored and misbehaves, I just don't feel like I do an adequate job.   I prayed one Sunday in exasperation for God to let me see how you see this child.   Sunday school came and went and the same things happened as usual. I left a little defeated.  As we talked to our kids on the way home and Robbie spoke up.  He told me what he had witnessed that morning, that I had totally missed.  He explained while a group of boys played, Matthew went up to play with them.  One of them was quick to comment how stupid Matthew looked with all the bandages on his face. Ouch, one of my biggest fears revealed, someone picking on Matt for his appearance...  mama bear instantly started to kick in.  Robbie quickly went on to explain that as soon as that comment was said - someone instantly stood up for him, called Matthew his little buddy and the put downs came to an end.  Guess who that was?? Yep, it was the kid from my Sunday school class.  My defeated heart was instantly stilled and very softened. It got me wondering how often do I miss the big picture because I make the wrong assumptions.  How often do I never look past what's on the outside, to see what God sees? Thank you God again for letting me see through the Jesus glasses, even if you let someone else wear them for me.  

It also had me thinking on how others see adoption.  So often when I tell someone about how we adopted Matthew they are quick to say  - wow thats expensive, you are crazy to want to change diapers again, I could never do what your doing,   Matthew is so lucky and so on...  ( There was I time when I saw only these things about adoption too.)  Very rarely does someone say - wow kelly you are so blessed. All that other stuff people just see on the outside, distracts from how God would have us see it - as  joyful, redemptive,blessed beyond measure...  I encourage you if you are questioning and struggling with something or someone - pray and ask God how do you see it?  Is something amazing sitting there but being clouded by other things? 

What's In A Name?

Matthew is named after Jeff's great uncle Matt.  If you knew him, you probably remember him as quiet, a little eccentric and his love of all things in nature.  He took daily walks several times a day around our family property and his beloved pond.  The amazing thing is that I thought I knew him pretty well for almost 20 years, but it wasn't until the last months of his life that I really got to start seeing see who he really was.

Jeff had always had a close relationship with Uncle Matt.  They spent a lot of time together and he taught Jeff all about trees, nature and animals.  He remembers Uncle Matt coming each spring from his winter in California to their house.  He would tinker around their house and help with various projects.  They always enjoyed pizza at Little Italy in Fremont. 

As Jeff and I dated, Jeff would drive me past the house we live in now. He would always tell me that someday he wanted to live in this house- then Uncle Matt's rental property. Fast forward some years, a marriage and a curly headed daughter... Uncle Matt offered to sell us this house. He also helped us the first time home buyers finance our house, too. He never once held it over our heads.

He really enjoyed having the curly headed great great niece Shelby living next door. In his late 80s he would trudge over in the snow and take Shelby sledding. He loved showing her how to count money and kept a few toys at his house so she could play.

As we remodeled the house, Uncle Matt was always stopping by to help us. I remember he would come by in the heat of the afternoon in August to pull nails out of old boards pulled off the roof. He did this so we wouldn't waste any room in our dumpster. He was able to pack that dumpster solidly without wasting an inch and saved us from getting several dumpsters. He never complained and would always show up when he saw us working outdoors. He was always trying to help and frequently we would have to chase the then almost 90 year old partially blind man off the ladder when the second story was added.

Over some time,  we started to notice that Uncle Matt just wasn't himself. He had had to give up driving a few years before and now he was forgetting a lot of things - well actually coming up with some great stories like the raccoons rebuilding the chimney... He then started to have to spend some time in the hospital and we needed to help Jeff's mom give more care to him at home. One night after we had helped take care of him, I walked home with Jeff. Sadly, Jeff and I both knew that he was fading away. I shared with Jeff that I didn't know if Uncle Matt really believed in God or not. I was really sad about this and unsure of what to do at this time in his life.

It must have been a day or two later and we were with him again - Matt grabbed my hand and told me "I want you to know Kelly, I pray for you and my family everyday in the way my namesake told me". I was floored. Uncle Matt was not touchy feely at all and I had probably only touched him when he hugged me at our wedding and he had never even mentioned his spiritual side ever. He would later go on that night to tell us about the "angels" that we're taking care of him- I first thought he might mean us but it was starting to get me wondering. And who was this namesake??

Uncle Matt passed away later that year. We had to clean out his apartment and go through his things. This is when we found some amazing letters to fill in the gaps. In his letters, he spoke of how our family property originated, of the trees he planted, his time in the Army and why he chose the life he did.

Turns out Uncle Matt was given a Gideon Bible during WWII and this is where he read the book of his "namesake" Matthew. It was from his reading in Matthew, he learned to pray in secret behind closed doors for his family. It was on his daily walks around the pond to view all the animals, that his prayers centered on his family. In his letters, he also shared that he had been married once and his wife hurt him badly, hence they later divorced. It was from then on he centered his whole life on taking care of his family because he knew he would never wanted to marry again.

This is why he travelled the US visiting all his family members to help wherever and whenever he was needed. He decided he would live simply and provide financially for family members when needed. As we went though his belongings, he really didn't own much at all - some second hand clothes, birding books, binoculars and a bowling ball. As we continued to go through his papers, we were amazed at all the people who had been helped by Uncle Matt and we never ever knew. We only had a small glimpse of the man who really knew what it was like to have such a big heart for others.

We are where we are at for many reasons in part to Uncle Matt. We were able afford our house and I could become a stay at home mom, as I had wanted to do and still enjoy today. My kids get to grow up right next door to most of their family and attend a great school district.  We have also certainly been a family well prayed for over the years, too.

During the winter that we started the adoption process snow was lightly falling and I worked outside picking up tree branches - I just had this really warm feeling wash over me. I can't really explain it, but I was thinking of our new-hope-to-be son. It kind of felt like God tapping me on the shoulder - his name should be Matthew. I never felt so confident and sure about something. I went inside and looked up the meaning of Matthew - "gift of God", nothing better describes him! Later on, as Jeff and I shared our hopes for our new son, it was fun to inform him that he already had a name. How could ever disagree?