Luoyang visit

Hello from the Zhengzhou! This is our fourth day here and our third day with Matthew. This is our first day with nothing to do, it has been nonstop running around. We are finally finished with this round of paperwork and Matthew is now officially 100% ours. Sorry for this really long post and poor writing.

We received Matthew on Monday. OnTuesday we had to make everything official and then head out to his birth city. Henan province is the only province that makes families return to their birth cities to apply for their baby's passport. The ride was 2.5+ hours to Luoyang and we had four other families plus our guide accompany us. About an hour into the ride, it became apparent to Matthew that he has made this trip before. In Matthews life, any rides in a car have all meant a huge change in his life. Our little guy was so scared and it only heightened when we went into the police station to apply for the passport. We can only describe the police station as the BMV But 50 timed worse. Tons of people, some smoking, all hammering around to file papers at once. Matthew was into full out panic when it became our turn to present him to the desk for his picture. Several chinese women tried to come over and quiet him, but it only seemed to make it worse. The older ladies were putting hard candies into his mouth to calm him down, scary when he was arching his head back in full scream. I quickly dug them back out of his mouth.

I finally left Jeff with everything and headed to the quietest part of the room near the door. I had gone through our whole arsenal of toys and finally busted out the Chips Ahoys. It was cool near the door and this universal comfort food did the trick. (The chips ahoy have been quite settling to our stomachs too, kind of like a tums;) he finally settled down.

Matthew has been in the Luoyang orphanage for the past 4-5 months after his time at Maria's Big House of Hope. All of the families traveling back with us had children who had spent time at Luoyang. We decided as a group that we should take a small visit To the Luoyang orphanage. Visiting the orphanage sounds cruel, but it has proven to be a sense of closure for many of the children and we hoped the same for Matthew. Our poor boy, didn't want anything to do with the orphanage. We stepped one foot inside his playroom and that was enough for him, such sad sobbing. Our guides reassured him that he wasnt staying and that he was going home with his momma and baba. We stayed in the hall and jeff and I took turns snapping some pictures of where he slept and of his crib mate. It was too much for Jeff and I too, we were both crying. One of the nannies came up to Matthew to see him and he slapped her away. Our 8 hour (without dinner or diaper changes) round trip finally brought us back to the hotel completely spent.

Jeff and I think that Matthew most likely was not treated in any high regard with many of the people here because of his cheek. While most chinese have been very nice to us, many point and makes remarks about Matthew. Now that he has been with us, he gets very tense in the presence of Chinese people.

He is showing a lot of signs of attachment to us. He constantly holds his arms up to us and prefers to be held a lot - we love it! He was constantly reaching to touch us in the middle of the night. He is grieving too, this is something he must do, but often heartbreaking for us to watch. Breakfast in the hotel brought out some panic today. By the time he got back to the room, he was having a full out throw down fit, trying to push us away. He wouldn't allow us to pick him up, so we stayed near and let him cry it out. He finally gave in and we "hugged it out". Today was marked by several crying fits, but they have gotten a little less severe and shorter as the day has gone by. We made a speed trip to Walmart and KFC in the stroller, but that too ended up with mama hugging it out the last few blocks home all while dodging Motor bikes on the sidewalk coming at us in all directions. He finally settled down and enjoyed his first French fries and chicken when we made it back.

This evening, A lot of the families decided to meet out in the hall for some adult time and kid play time, I wasn't expecting this to go to well. We were very surprised that it did and it was so nice to become a part of the living once again. These families have been a tremendous source of support, encouragement and a lot of fun. matthew has enjoyed playing with an empty water bottle and the stacking cups, and even did so by himself for a little while, while we actually caught our breath - it's tough work entertaining and living out of a hotel room with a toddler who doesn't understand you. So we Ended the night with a bath, which ended with smiles, a bottle and now sound asleep in his crib.