Thoughts on Matthew

This might be a crazy rambling post. Tickets are bought and we leave next week!!!! Can't believe this is going to happen. It was such a relief to see pictures of Matthew this week and to hear he is healthy and alive. It is amazing the terrifying thoughts that seep in when you don't know what is going on. We also now have his measurements which will help with all the packing and not having to pack 3 sizes for two drastically different climates.

I want to write also to give you realistic expectations of Matthew. Even though he is almost two years old, he will most likely not act like most two year olds or maybe he will ;) To him, Jeff and I are just going to be two new nannies who don't look, act, smell like anyone he is used to. Having parents and family are a unknown concept. We expect him to be grieving - that could have him shutting down completely, acting out, hitting, kicking, biting, or be in complete terror. My hope is that he learns he can trust us very quickly and we are able to console him. He has always had to live on guard his whole life. He has never known he could count on anyone for very long, trust and relationships have been short lived for him.

We have been told to treat him as a newborn. Keep him close, not to venture too much from home, hold him a lot, keep him sleeping near us. We have been told to spoil him. As our agency director said - his love bank is empty. We need to drop in plenty quarter size deposits so he becomes to believe that we are the best nannies he has ever had - for there he can trust us and learn that parents and family are forever. Our kids here, have always received hugs, kisses and and know they can always count on their parents to be with them they are scared or sick. Parents have made deposits of love their whole lives. Kids in orphanages, not so. No one held them while they were sick, no one celebrated all their firsts, no one hugs them in the morning and kisses them good night. Thankfully, we believe that Matthew has received a better life in the orphanage than most, but it is still a poor substitute for a family. We are not going to push him. We are going to try not to scold too much, but do a lot of redirecting. we need to show him we love him no matter what. no matter how is he is acting bad or good. We are going to scale back on all the things that steal our time, so we have plenty to give all our children. I say all of these things because that is what I hope happens, but I know we will continually fall short.

So hopefully grace abounds - with Matthew for us and for us with him, for people who may wonder why we have gone this path, for the stares he will receive because of his medical condition, for the acting out and for the all tears - grace can cover it all. We know that takes time, we wait with great expectation for this little boy to blossom and become everything God has called him to be.