This boy of ours is still growing like a weed. He has now grown a total of 4 inches since he has been home and 2 1/2 shoes sizes! The shoe on the left was one of the ones we bought him in China and the one on the right I just bought last week. I think he and Robbie are in a race to see who can grow faster.
We had our final visit with the adoption clinic at Children's Hospital a few weeks ago. We saw a developmental specialist, psychologist and and a regular medical doctor who specializes in adopted children. Our last visit with them was 6 months ago. It's nice to run by them the things that always have you wondering about as a mom, especially with a child that you don't know their background. The bad part is that the appointment usually runs about 3 hours. The good news is that Matthew is catching up to just about where he should be developmentally. His articulation is still a bit behind, but that still appears to be a product of his cheek.
At around the 2 hour mark of our appointment, we saw the psychologist. Matthew was wiped out and hungry, so of course he took this chance to eat his very messy Ritz crackers on the dr's couch and glass table. That is when he spotted my wipes and bottle of water and he was giving me this look. I could tell by the look that he wanted to "clean" the place up in his special toddler way. I could only imagine what a baby wipe would do to his glass table???? I attempted to divert him and prevent a tantrum while I chatted with the doctor, but when my son has his mind set on something - watch out! The doctor finally said - put the water bottle away and let's see what he does. Seriously?? I just wanted to slide under the couch. I did as he said and somehow it made it easier to watch the tantrum when we had the psychologist's permission. Thankfully it didn't last too long. He pitched his fit, finally relented and then crawled up on my lap for comfort.
Kids who grow up in institutions don't usually go to their caregivers for comfort, they have always grown up knowing there was never anyone to depend on to offer comfort. Initially Matt didn't come to us either. It is the saddest thing to watch when your child is hurting and he wants to be by himself. The long and short of our visit it all was that Matthew for the most part he is very much like other 2 year olds. The psychologist was confident that he was attaching well and we could move on to raising him just like our other kids for the most part.He said to expect some regression in his behavior following the surgery, which we saw a little bit of with the last surgery. The doctor also told us to expect flashbacks which I can definitely see once and awhile, nothing too traumatic, but I can see his thoughts definitely pondering something far off at times.
The other thing we see some of - is the anxiety of being left behind or taken somewhere, the doctor said this to is "normal". Matt has lost his entire world so many times. Recently, a friend pulled up to our front door in her van and we started to take his car seat and a bag to her car - the sheer look of terror on his face initially really surprised me, and then I remembered. In the past, van rides preceded moves to new places and loss of all his caregivers. What a relief for him to see I was going with him. Any immediate family member putting on shoes/jackets will usually have Matt's attention. He checks out the situation and see if he needs to prepare too. He also wants to put his shoes or personal items right next to and in the same position as someone else's in the family. It's as if he is saying - If you see my things next to yours, you won't forget to take me with you??
It is amazing to look back on the past almost 8 months and see how far he has come. He really is almost like any other 2 year old boy. He loves to play with toys & stuffed animals, play football, be read to, watch tv and play the ipad. These were all things he could have mostly cared less about the first few months home. His favorite thing to say is "Matt do" - he really will try anything and wants to do EVERYTHING by himself. I am constantly reminding him that moms and dads are here to help their kids and he can depend on us.
Overall Matthew is just a lovable boy and he is so proud to be called a brother and a son. It has been amazing and life changing for us to watch the transformation in our son. Kids are wired to be in families, it's as important as air and water. I think back to when we visited his orphanage. He was trying smack away (he hasnt been a hitter since that day) all his caregivers after being with us just for one day. He clung to us for dear life and were complete strangers the day before. 24 hours with stranger parents won out over everything he ever knew to be familiar in his entire life. I am humbled daily that we get to be his parents. I am so thankful to God for growing Matthew in our hearts.
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