You have so much going for you, but....

One of the greatest conversations anyone ever had with me went something like "you and your family look like you have so much going for you, but it doesn't look like you have a relationship with God".  This was said by a very sweet friend in a very sincere way.  Wow, how did she know? I had been struggling for some time.  I grew up in the church and even still went on occasion and I even prayed at times.  It was hard for me seeing God as a loving God.  He had lots of rules and anytime I tried to read the Bible it just seemed full of people who were pretty awful.  I was going through life not breaking any major commandments, why would God care about what I did?  A lot of people I saw in churches were pretty flawed, why would I want to go hang with them? Surely he needed to focus on people who had it much worse than me.  I am a pretty good person, right? So why was I still struggling? 

I had so much anxiety.  I had new plans all the time that I thought would fill this vacant hole in my life that I could never get rid of.  If I just.... I will become a wife and mom. Go to college.  That should fix it! Nope.  I will have a successful job - nope.  I will be the best volunteer and help others and put in 110% -  that should bring some fulfillment for sure. New hobbies, clothes, hair styles, vacations, self improvement, home renovations, exercise  -   I had all the things the world told me that would make me complete and whole - but I didn't feel that way.  

Can you relate? Does there seem to be something missing? Are you trying to fill this hole in your life and it still feels empty?  

Some things in my life changed over night and somethings were more gradual. Many things are still a work in process.  I finally confessed to God how much I needed him and I began to see he had been knocking at the front door of my life all this time -  and he cared for  me and wanted me to know him.  Slowly the words in the Bible became real and the stories were no longer about awful people, but flawed people that God still worked in their lives.  My prayers started to move away from ones like please keep me safe on a airplane to telling him how i felt.  I began to see he was in EVERY part of my life.   How had I missed this? 

The biggest things are now knowing his joy and peace.  Oh how he loves us.   Yes I still worry, but now it's so much easier saying God please take this and have your way.  Yes there are still consequences, struggles and there is still pain -but something is so different.  Because his way is best, no matter what.  He cares.  He doesn't give us what we surely deserve and if we ask he forgives us over and over again.  He isn't some stern Father waiting for us to mess up.  He wants what's best for us and it's not going to be like what the world says what is best for us. But what he has to give is amazing and beyond compare.  Being in a relationship with God, doesn't me make now have it all together - it makes me loved and forgiven.  It makes me know how much I need him.  

Guess what - he wants a relationship with you right NOW.  He isn't waiting for you to change or for your to get your act together.  It isn't about you being a good person, it's about you being a loved person.  And He wants to be a part of your life right here and now. Are you willing?

Chinese New Year 2016

We are making progress to celebrate Chinese New Year (Lunar New Year) here in our home.  This is the biggest holiday in China and other Asian countries.  It also accounts for the biggest migration of people at one time in the whole world as people return to their hometowns to celebrate with their families.  So, while we watched the Super Bowl and the little ones were asleep, I decorated our downstairs.  I started picking up red lanterns last year and I finally had enough to hang from our ceilings.  I also bought some silk peach blossoms and made my version of a wishing tree.  I went to the Asian market and purchased several spring happiness poems and wall hangings with Chinese characters.  I have tried to figure out what the actual characters mean, but haven't had any luck.  The joke at our house is that the hangings probably say "eat at Joes" or " A-1 hemorrhoid medicine".  We even tried to use chop sticks and had tradition red envelopes.  Instead of fireworks, we used poppers.  I have also been trying to collect books about China and Lunar New Year. 

We had a new year meal with homemade dumplings, fried rice, longevity noodles, mandarin oranges, green beans, lettuce wraps, moon cakes and salad - and Chinese beer!  We were able to have some family and friends also join us this year.  The past two years I have really good notions to start celebrating, but last year getting ready to bring Grace home kind of ruled out much of anything.  This year we were also able to celebrate at a restaurant with some other families with children adopted from China.  

It's very easy to forget that Grace and Matthew are Chinese.  They speak, eat, and act like Americans in every sense.  I often forget that I didn't give birth to them, they really are so much like us.  Any of the Chinese language they do know at this point, is really only because we listen to Chinese children CDs and watch Chinese YouTube.    I

Ready to go to our local CNY celebration with other adoptive families.

Wishing Tree

Here is a really sweet commercial about chinese new year.  It makes me tear up every time I watch it.  It's easy to forget what Grace and Matt are missing because they have gained so much, but then I watch videos like this and it comes rushing in.  It makes me think of their birth parents and families. I am sure they must be wondering about the children they gave up.   It makes me think a beautiful country that don't really know as their own.  Foods and culture that they don't remember. I hope one day they can find out more about their birth country and even their birth parents.  Maybe even know what the Mandarin wall hangings say...

First sledding of the year!

Grace and Matt had their first time to play out in the snow this winter on our hill.   Matt is now able to pull the sled up on his own and Grace can go down on the sled by herself.  She even was able to walk so much more steady with minimal falls in the snow. Woo hoo, I only have to pull one sled back up the hill.  Grace was even sometimes able to walk up the hill with assistance.   It's great to see progress!

Grace's First Christmas

Hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas.  This was Grace's first Christmas and overall she did very well.  We know Matthew had some experience with Christmas before he came home, but it was pretty evident Grace did not.  When we put up our decorations at the first of the month, things at first were a little hairy. I can't begin to imagine what went through her mind as we put up a tree inside the house, people kept asking her if she was good and if Santa was coming to her house?  Grace overall seemed to have a feeling of uneasiness for a couple of weeks.  We quickly figured out as the first 5-10 ornaments disappeared and/or were relocated, we probably shouldn't put out our 200+ animals that go with our nativity.  Thankfully she began to piece things together - even if our home and schedule changed a bit, her family stayed the same.  So much so, when it got time for  Jeff to take down decorations, she yelled at him because he put Christmas away.  Life is never boring around here...

We tried to get the big boys to join our matching PJ's, but this is the best I could get out of them.

This girl loves her baby dolls.

My mom and dad

Grace and cousin Wesley

Mom S and Aunt Jenny

Seeing Santa at Uncle Walt and Aunt Pat's - Santa was ok as long as she wasn't on his lap.

Visiting with cousin Lisa and my reflective sweatshirt??

My mom and Dad with uncle Jay and Aunt Sandy

Cousin Lisa and her husband Mark

Over the river and through the woods

Cousins with Santa

B is going to Boise and Disney World, too!

 The Akron Zips qualified to go to a bowl game this year.  Shelby heard this week that the band will get to go too.  So next week the band will board chartered planes to go the "Famous Idaho Potato Bowl" in Boise.  The game will be on ESPN Tues December 22 at 3:30.

As exciting as Boise sounds (ok we are really excited!!), she also found a few months ago that she will be working at Disney World for her spring semester in their college program!! Thankfully she  can keep her college status while she works there in merchandising.  She has talked about working Disney for a long time and she took a full course load this summer, in hopes she would get accepted into the program.  I am driving down with her in January to take her car (praying it holds out a little bit longer!).  I will help her get settled and hop on the next plane back while Jeff holds the fort down. I am sure I will be a hot mess on the way back, but I am so excited for this opportunity for our girl.

2006 

Braces for Robbie

After much wait, Robbie has started to get his braces on.  His orthodontist has one of his offices within walking distance of our house.  This office is in his home, so it's pretty funny to hang out in the dentists sun room and pet his cat Schwarz (which means black in German) while you wait.  Funny story, I about busted a gut the first time we went because I thought for sure he was calling the cat "Farts".  I still have the humor of a 3rd grade boy.

So far the braces are going well for him and by the time he gets them off he will be driving! They should be on for about 2 1/2 years.  He of course chose the maize and blue for his first brace colors.

Little Swimmers

We started Grace and Matt in swim lessons about a month ago at the University of Akron.  So far so good! It's nice to have an activity that they can both do at the same time.