New Pictures and updates

After waiting over two months for an update of Matthew we finally got one and it came the same day as we got our consulate appointment, a picture from another traveling family and bought our flight tickets - best day ever!!!

The report says he is healthy, weighing in at 25 pounds and 2.5 feet tall. It says he is walking and talking a little bit and he can put on his own socks ( but can he pick dirty ones off the floor?). His hemangioma doesn't look any bigger. He is on the shyer side and prefers to be around adults. He also takes a 2.5 hour nap in the middle of the day and formula at night before bed.

Pink is a very common color for little boys to wear in China, too - I promise! His pink wearing days are short lived :)

Thoughts on Matthew

This might be a crazy rambling post. Tickets are bought and we leave next week!!!! Can't believe this is going to happen. It was such a relief to see pictures of Matthew this week and to hear he is healthy and alive. It is amazing the terrifying thoughts that seep in when you don't know what is going on. We also now have his measurements which will help with all the packing and not having to pack 3 sizes for two drastically different climates.

I want to write also to give you realistic expectations of Matthew. Even though he is almost two years old, he will most likely not act like most two year olds or maybe he will ;) To him, Jeff and I are just going to be two new nannies who don't look, act, smell like anyone he is used to. Having parents and family are a unknown concept. We expect him to be grieving - that could have him shutting down completely, acting out, hitting, kicking, biting, or be in complete terror. My hope is that he learns he can trust us very quickly and we are able to console him. He has always had to live on guard his whole life. He has never known he could count on anyone for very long, trust and relationships have been short lived for him.

We have been told to treat him as a newborn. Keep him close, not to venture too much from home, hold him a lot, keep him sleeping near us. We have been told to spoil him. As our agency director said - his love bank is empty. We need to drop in plenty quarter size deposits so he becomes to believe that we are the best nannies he has ever had - for there he can trust us and learn that parents and family are forever. Our kids here, have always received hugs, kisses and and know they can always count on their parents to be with them they are scared or sick. Parents have made deposits of love their whole lives. Kids in orphanages, not so. No one held them while they were sick, no one celebrated all their firsts, no one hugs them in the morning and kisses them good night. Thankfully, we believe that Matthew has received a better life in the orphanage than most, but it is still a poor substitute for a family. We are not going to push him. We are going to try not to scold too much, but do a lot of redirecting. we need to show him we love him no matter what. no matter how is he is acting bad or good. We are going to scale back on all the things that steal our time, so we have plenty to give all our children. I say all of these things because that is what I hope happens, but I know we will continually fall short.

So hopefully grace abounds - with Matthew for us and for us with him, for people who may wonder why we have gone this path, for the stares he will receive because of his medical condition, for the acting out and for the all tears - grace can cover it all. We know that takes time, we wait with great expectation for this little boy to blossom and become everything God has called him to be.

Leaving on a jet plane!!

Going to be bringing our boy home!!!!! Travel plans are in progress. Can't believe this is true!!! I also had a surprise picture waiting for me today too. It's not any toddler boy that can pull off so much pink clothing. Feeling so blessed!!!!!

No travel dates or riding roller coasters - YET!

Sorry no travel dates yet! I paperwork has finally found its final resting place, though a week later than expected. It will be miracle if we now get to travel in January, it is looking more like mid February. We have been busy trying to get everything together to take with us and getting our house in order. Its like waiting for the go ahead to have your life flipped upside down. Oh life flipping please come soon!!!

It was just a little over a year ago, that Jeff turned to me while we were riding in the car and asked if I still wanted to adopt. We had originally talked about adoption early on in our life together because we weren't sure if we would be able to become pregnant due to some previous health problems. That myth was soon dispelled. Over the years I would jokingly throw adoption around, but nothing really serious. That was something other people did, not our family. It was about 4-5 years ago, God really brought it to my attention. A friend from college, adopted a little girl from China. Their journey pretty much rocked my world and my thinking. Our friend even suggested we think about adopting, too. Yeah right! Again that was something other people did...

None the less, I decided to put adoption on the last page of my journal and I mentioned it in my prayers. I was revisiting that list last December and went whooaa. It still was on my mind and heart. I started looking at my life, too. We were really at a nice comfortable time in our lives, did I really want to rock this boat? Hello? - we have a child going to college soon and we were in the midst of our ten years of fixing up the house. Hello? - my kids go to bed by themselves and no one is in diapers. We had no toys in our living room! No big stores of cash hanging around to finance an adoption either. And we can all finally ride all the roller coasters together we want ( ok that one was lame!).

So, I changed my prayer a bit... I asked God if this was something he wanted us to do please make it ok with Jeff's heart and have him come to me. Jeff is my planner and he is so practical and sensible. A trait that I originally didn't appreciate, but I really have come to love. I needed to hear it was a good idea, not just a crazy idea of mine. I also needed to hear he wanted this as badly as I did and that we at least had a chance to make it happen. I also mentioned in my prayer, that if Jeff never came to me or didn't have a heart for it that I would be ok with that, too. So when he turned to me in the car a few weeks later, his heart really was in the same place as mine. God does answer prayers. Over the past year, when I have felt overwhelmed - Jeff has been our biggest cheerleader. It is an amazing feeling to jump off the side of a cliff holding hands with Mr Practical. Thank you God for giving me just the person you made for me.

It also has been a tough year. Can I tell you something weird though, it has given us the ability to step out of our everyday lives and look at everything in a totally different way. The stuff that mattered last year, doesn't really seem to matter so much this year. Two people that were "done having kids" have aching hearts to be parents to a little boy that they don't even know, who will leave toys in the living room, wear diapers and not be able to ride roller coasters in the near future. Money that was no where near budgeted, has "shown up" along the way just when we needed it and we squeaked by. People have said Matthew is so blessed to be getting a family, but the bigger blessings are really ours and more are yet to come.

Merry Christmas!

Getting Closer...

We are headed into the home stretch to bring Matthew home. We hope to receive our travel dates in the next weeks. We have a slight chance to travel in the end of January and a better chance later in February after Chinese New Year.

We have Matthew's room ready, but we are pretty sure he will end up sleeping in our room. We have been told to expect he might even still take a bottle. It is more the norm there, regardless it will give us a better chance to hold and bond with him. We still haven't received an update since his last measurements in the spring. I at least have a little bit of clothing covering the entire 18 months to 3t range. I have told Shelby to expect to go shopping while we are over in Ch!na as we figure out more of Matthew's needs.

Some other families that have recently travelled to pick up their children suggested we bring him his own bag to hold some of his own things. So we did pick up a tiny Thomas backpack to take with us and Jeff requested that our littlest future Asian Zip's fan have his own Zippy, too.

So excited to be bringing him home soon. Just want to hold my boy...

List of random acts of kindness

I saw this on another blog to do random acts of kindness...

*Cupcakes to bank
*Leave encouraging notes or gift cards on cars
*Volunteer your time
*Buy someone’s breakfast/lunch/dinner
 *Send flowers or giveaway flowers
*Doughnuts to school
*Take balloons and/or treats to hospital
*Pump someone’s gas
*Go caroling
*Carepacks for homeless
*Feed parking meters
*Leave a big tip
*Anonymous chalk art or door hangers
*Food gift cards for homeless
*Give gift card to shopper or leave in shopping carts
*Gift cards for single parent
*Birthday/Christmas bag drop
*Make & leave bookmarks at library or bookstore
*Hide $1 bills at Dollar Tree
*Over pay for Contributor newspaper
*Sticky notes on public bathroom mirror
 *Treat for Salvation Army bell ringer
*Donations to Crisis Pregnancy Center
*Tip drive-thru worker
*Muffins to pediatricians office
*Hold the door for shoppers
*Decorate someone’s porch or mailbox
*Leave change at laundromat
*Return shopping carts from parking lot
*Tape change to vending machine or bubble gum machines
*Pay strangers over due fees at library
 *Gift wrap presents for free
*Treats for library workers
*Adopt a family for Christmas
*Bag of groceries with recipes to a family
*Pass out candy canes
*Paint rocks and leave for others to find
*Popcorn, candy & movie rental bucket to a family
*Babysit for couple/single parent
*Handmade cards to nursing home
 *Pay for someone’s Santa picture
*Giveaway balloons/stickers/books to kids shopping w/parents
*Treat for mailman, post office workers, trash collector and/or police & fire station
*School supply donations to a classroom
*Bring up neighbors trash can
*Gift or flowers for custodian at school
 *Give genuine compliments
*Card for loved one
*Pay for car behind you in drive thru line
*Mail handwritten letters of encouragement
*Pick up trash
*Coffee for people waiting for bus or outdoor workers
*Donate blood
*Treat for bus driver
*Donate non perishables to food pantry
*Gift card for all night gas station/store worker
*Share Sonic happy hour
*Leave surprises at playground (Coins, small toys, filled Easter eggs)

Tis’ the season for kindness…you know you want to do it too.