Next Step

Matthew has a surgery appointment set for a biopsy of his cheek and a odd birthmark on his stomach next week. His new team of doctors isn't convinced that his cheek is vascular or lymphatic. Since they are not sure, they want to make sure they know what they are cutting into to to give them a better treatment plan.This team also believes the cysts/tumors innervate his bones, muscles and nerves. They do think a large part of the mass is well defined and will be able to be easily "scooped out", it's just that other part that won't,  that will be difficult. I am trying to deal with one thing at a time and not to think of what that may mean for his future. I will have to continue to rely on the one who has taken care of all the details so far to get us over this next hurdle.  We have loved both surgeons that we have talked to, but we a larger sense of peace with the team approach at the second opinion. They seem to be looking at Matthew as a bigger picture and its great to hear the opinion of several doctors all standing in the same room together.  Most likely his removal surgery will still occur before the end of the year.

Matthew's nose is at the top of this picture and the MRI cross section is taken as if looking down on top of his head. 

I have fallen in love with Matt's little face and smooshy cheek.  I am not all together ready for it to start changing, he is already perfect.  The first time I ever saw Matthew's picture, I wasn't all together ready to say I could handle his special need though.  Now mind you the picture was small and it wasn't picture that actually captured the real him.  So I actually avoided clicking on his link for a little while after I first saw it.  I was a little scared, I wasn't sure if I could "handle" that need.  What if kids made fun of him at school?  It didnt initially occur to me of what if kids did make fun of him at school and he didnt have a momma and daddy to make it all better?? For some reason, I just felt this inner nudging to look a little closer and I clicked on his picture.  I am so glad I did... I immediately saw the face of my son looking back at me.  I read the details about him and knew I was reading about my child.    I went upstairs, got on my knees and prayed.  The rest is history. 

 

Its bittersweet to know that the same cheek that made him in an orphan, also made him our son.   Isn'it amazing to see how God turns all of our ashes into beauty?  I catch myself just staring for long moments at Matthew, very much in love and awe.  It's hard to still believe he is really here. That he really is our son.  That he has beginning of almost 2 years that doesn't include Jeff and I.  That he has a set of birth parents that loved him and are thinking of him.  That for someone who is just 2 years old, he sure has been through so much that a 2 year old shouldn't have to go through.  That he even though he doesn't share our DNA, he sures acts like he does.  That a once scared little chinese boy is a sweet, goofy, loving chinese American boy.