Traditional and Waiting Child program

I thought I would take the time and educate a little bit on adoption in Ch!na ( I am not an expert by any means, I just play one on this blog ;) When you adopt from Ch!na there are basically a couple of ways you can go - traditional (a child with no known special need) or through the waiting child program (a child with a special need). Children from the traditional program usually tend to be adopted while they are still babies and the current wait for families to adopt is 6-10 years (maybe that should be called the waiting family program?). There are more people wanting to adopt than there are available children. Almost always the children are female.

Children from the waiting child program can be babies up to age 14 of either gender. The types of special needs vary - being an older child, birthmarks, missing fingers or limbs, Down's Syndrome, any type of heart defect, clefts and even eczema. This list goes on... Sometimes if the need is easily correctable, the need is repaired in Ch!na before the kids are placed with their families, but usually not. There is obviously a huge range in the level of needs and of course some children might have multiple needs. Shelby (hemangioma) and Robbie (asthma and eczema) might have been considered waiting children too, had they been born to families that were unable to care for their needs.

The process to adopt a waiting child averages anywhere from 1-2 years depending on how you start the process. There are many more waiting children than there are families able to adopt them. I wish the process was easier and faster with all the kids that spend another day or another year without parents. I understand that the process is there to protect the children, but it is still hard to fathom with so many millions ( estimates of 146 million around the world) of children waiting.

Kids in Ch!na become orphans for many many reasons. Sometimes it's due to the one child policy, maybe they are too poor, maybe parents can't afford medical treatment, or maybe for the same reasons it happens around the world. Poverty in Ch!na and around the world is much much more extreme than we know here. Birth parents in Ch!na must abandon their children to relinquish them without a trace of their identity (or face punishment) so often the reason is never known.

I am in a group on facebook with about 250 others parents who are all in somewhat similar places in our paperwork/waiting game. From what I can tell, we are all adopting kids from the waiting child program. These parents are from all around the world and I have never seen such a group of people more amped up for adoption, anxiously awaiting to bring their kids home. Many are adopting for the second or third time. It is just so cool to see the new lives and families that these kids have waiting here across the ocean. I hope they all learn in time how much they are already loved and were prayed for. How precious we see them and how utterly precious God sees them. How God indeed has a plan for them and part of that plan has always been to be a part of our families.

Something old, something new, something remodeled & something Blue

A couple of years ago, Jeff and I decided to remodel one of our bedrooms into an office space. We moved a few things around, took out the knotty pine and had the original wood floor stripped and redone. Our intention was to put in some cabinets along both walls with some built in desks. We got that far and decided to hold off finishing. We knew once we started to tackle the living room project we would need to have a temporary living room and this space would do the trick. So for at least 8 months we lived out of the office and even had our Christmas tree last year.

With Matthew coming home soon, we approached Ro about moving his bedroom to the office. Fortunately he was super excited about this. We had received some Michigan border a couple of years back - so he had a theme. We got him a Michigan comforter to go with it for his birthday. The bedroom set was over at Jeff's mom's place in the attic and was actually a great, great, great uncle's set. A little bit of Murphy's Oil soap and some Old English did just the trick! He is thrilled!

Ketchup

Went to SAMs club this week and bought this 3 pack of ketchup and I had a revelation (sorry nothing biblical sized)- that the next time I buy ketchup Matthew should be home! The waiting is hard, but its going quickly.

I also have been getting choked up every time I see this cheerleader at Robbie's football game who was adopted from China, too. People must think I am very touched by school spirit. It just reminds me how one day going to a football game will be an everyday experience to Matt too. As will be having a family...

On a happy note and more thrilling than ketchup and crying over cheerleaders - This week, I joined a yahoo group for families with kids from the Luoyang orphanage. I wasn't on but a minute and I saw a picture of a little boy. The mom was asking if anyone knew where the picture was taken. She could tell by the wooden floors and leather couches that it wasn't taken at Luoyang, but she didn't know where else her son had been before he came home. I immediately knew and started scouring through photos online to find a match for the couch and floor. I was excited to share the news that her son had been at MBHOH, too and put her in contact with show hope. That night she received a photo of her son at one month old (he is now 3) from them with the promise of more to come! What a gift to be able to fill in those lost blocks of time!

Life is good, God is great, I am little emotional and we have plenty of ketchup.

Back to the orphanage...

I received news last week that Matthew has been sent back to his original orphanage. Mixed feelings over this, I am glad to know where he really is, but sad he is no longer at Maria's Big House of Hope. It also must mean he is done with whatever treatment he has been receiving there. Children typically get sent back to their orphanage anyway a week or so prior to their parents coming for them. So now it won't be two big life changing moves for him in a weeks time. Trying to look at the positives of all of this.

OOT

Found out last week that our documents were out of translation (OOT). What does that mean to our wait? We are moving along! Some say we should get our next prized piece of paper (LOA) in the next 6 weeks. I hope this is the case. We still have a super small chance of traveling by the end of the year :)

I mailed Matt's care package to him close to a month ago. Postal service reports it still hasn't arrived and it should have a long time ago. I have initiated an inquiry and they said it would take Ch!na 23 days to look into it and USPS will get back to me in 24 days.

I have been a bit bummed, mainly because Matthew hasn't received the photo album from the care package with our pictures. A lot of times, orphanages aren't aware at this point that kids are in process to be adopted until these packages arrive. So, in other words, Matthew probably still doesn't know he has a family.

Jeff reminded me he is only 18 months old and probably wouldn't understand that he has a family in America. Which gets me thinking that he probably doesn't even understand the concept of a mom and dad let alone that he has us waiting here, this makes my heart sad.

However, God is always bringing good out of every situation. He might not know about us right now- but we are thrilled that when the time comes, we get to be the ones to show Matthew what it means to have a family. I am not even dreading diapers and having to potty train again. I am looking forward to a little boy's screech as he runs through the house. My house is full of child proof latches again after 10 years. I am excited to take a super long plane ride with a toddler. I am ready to start all over again. I am ready to give up my free time (but I am praying that he enjoys a nap like his momma). I am head over heals in love with someone I haven't even met, that doesn't even know I exist.

What's Shelby up to?

This girl is on the run! She started band camp in early August and a summer job at a farm market in July. She has been fitting some babysitting jobs and started playing in the church bell choir. She is on a mission to buy her own car, but in the mean time she borrows the family plow truck to drive to school. She looks cute in her monster truck and ponytail.

Ro

 

Robbie and his birthday cupcakes.  This isn't typical though.  Robbie doesn't really care for cake, so I usually make this cream cheese coffee cake that he really loves.  We got to branch out to cupcakes though this year.

 

 

 

The First Day of school picture you didn't get to see

 

 

 

Robbie And Grandma S

 

 

Robbie and with Papa and Grandma K

 

 

 

Our boy is playing tackle football.  I try not to wince when I say that, because sometimes I do worry.  He really loves it though and I am still amazed how he can spout off anything football - he already knows a ton.  He is playing wide receiver and cornerback this year.