Football

We have really enjoyed watching Robbie's football games this season, even if at times it is in full sun-98°- sitting on aluminum stands-facing into the sun. We all really look forward to it.    It's pretty cool to see how far he has come over the past 9 years.  I like to think I had a place in how far he has come - I have given him a lot of training on how to catch bad passes many a day at the bus stop when he was younger.  It's still hard to see him get tackled though.  I continue to warn him that I will hurdle the stands and be at his side if he gets hurt.  Robbie has had some pretty sore muscles the past few weeks, but he is still pretty excited for each week's game.  

Show Hope Concert

 Last week,  we had the opportunity to go and volunteer with Show Hope.  Steven Curtis Chapman was in Youngstown playing for a concert along with Mac Powell and Brandon Heath.  Show Hope needed some volunteers to help pass out sponsorship information and sign up new sponsors for the children they take care of in their care centers in China.  Shelby was visiting friends in Florida so she wasn't able to come.  We knew it would be a really long night for Grace, so she got to stay home and spend "girlfriend time" (as she calls it) with Grandma.

Matthew spent about 15 months at Maria's Big House of Hope of his 23 months living in China.  He also spent about 5 months in a state run orphanage.  As an adoptive parent, its hard to picture what your child's life was like before you and what they may have endured without you.   We know his early life was full of a lot of losses, but to know he lived in such a beautiful God filled place like Maria's helps to make your heart rest a little easier as an adoptive parent.   We have had a couple of chances to speak with the amazing staff and volunteers at Show Hope over the years, it has been a blessing to meet up with them and hear small stories about Matthew.  Last night, we heard Matthew was always wanting his nannies to take off his shirt.  We were cracking up because this is so him.  Our boy is such a human sweat box, he is always hot.  

It was great concert! Afterwards we were able to go meet everyone backstage.  They were all so sweet and nice to us all.  Here are a few pictures...

First day of school

Summer time

 Yes I still do blog...  Summer is flying by and now it's time for school to start.

Shelby is home from Disney! Yay!!! She had a great time and she probably would have stayed if she had the time with her studies and extra finances.  The Disney college program is awesome, but not something that you do to grow your savings account.  She thoroughly had a great time though.  She probably spent 85% of her days there in the parks while she was there and tried just about everything there is to do down there.  (She is a great resource of all things Disney if anyone ever has questions).  Now, she is back working at the farm mostly on the weekends and watching two little girls during the week.  She isn't going to do marching band this fall, it will be nice to have her around more and not racing around so much.  I think she will appreciate the extra time as her program studies ramp up this Fall.  Can't believe she is already a junior. 

Robbie is sweating his butt off for football this summer.  He has been conditioning a few days a week and freshman football started last week.  This is the first time in a long time that I am not a band-mom, I am now an official football mom.  He his so happy that I purchased "sparkle-mom-football jersey" with his last name on it.  His team is a little bigger this year and he is getting the chance to be a wide receiver and running back.  Robbie has always just had such a love of football and I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up coaching in his life.  (sorry for the lack of a football picture, this is a much more handsome/less sweaty picture from his spring dance)

Matthew can ride a bike! We bought him a balance bike for his birthday.  During a recent camping trip, we had a spot near a cul d sac.  He is one determined boy and practiced all weekend.  By the time we came home, he asked to get out his bike with training wheels and have them removed.  To our shock, he was up and pedaling  away.  He got to go to safety town and will be going  off to kindergarten soon.  Matthew had an MRI in June and will have an ultrasound at the end of the year.  We are gauging  his need for sclerotherapy (injections to shrink some of the remaining tissue in his cheek).

Gracie is having a fun summer of speech and physical therapy.  She recently was fitted with additional bracing for her right leg.  She isn't a big fan of wearing it, but we are seeing a lot less falling. It offers more support to her weaker foot, but still allows enough flex ability to still build up the muscles in her leg.   She can now ride a tricycle really well and she is starting to work on Matthew's bike with training wheels.  Her language is really exploding and it's so sweet to have real conversations with her.  It's amazing to see her go from baby to preschooler in just over a year. 

Not sure if it's going to last, but both Grace and Matthew have been sleeping so much better.  We have spent the better part of the last 3.5 years dealing with a lot of interrupted sleep and having to sleep in their room.   Both of them have dealt with a lot of nighttime anxiety, rightfully so.  We are just down to Jeff laying down with them at night till they fall asleep  and just an occasional reassuring hug during the night.  It is so nice to sleep in my own bed, but now I am realizing it's time for us to get a new mattress, lol. 

Hoping to blog more, wish me luck! 

Disney

In early March we were able to go to Florida and see our girl.  Funny, around the same time last year our family packed up and boarded a plane to meet Grace for the first time.  We went right from the airport to the Magic Kingdom to see Shelby.  So good to hunt her down working and give her a big hug.  For the first few days of our trip, Shelby would hang out with us all day and then go to work mid afternoon and work till midnight.  Obviously she is a lot younger and has a lot more energy than us.

We stayed in the cabins at Fort Wilderness.  Both sides of our family were able to stay at Fort Wilderness  with us.  Grace and Matt were pretty thrilled with their new home.  They still keep asking if they can go back to the cabin.  Grace and Matt don't always do real well in new situations and this our first real vacation to take with both of them, we were a little apprehensive going down there.  They both did awesome.  It never gets old taking little ones for their first trip to Disney World, especially ones that have had such rough starts in life.  I can't tell you how many times my mind drifted away and kept thinking just a year ago, Grace was in an orphanage.  Now here she was a daughter and getting to be kid just like everyone else.  

Toward the last half of our trip, Jeff and I both ended up at Urgent Care places.  Thankfully, I just had a nasty chest cold, but poor Jeff had a frozen shoulder that wouldn't budge.  One day while we were at Epcot, his shoulder got stuck with his arm extended above his shoulder.  Talk about painful - we found an awesome urgent care about 5 minutes away and got him a cortisone shot and a little relief.  He struggled with it for the next couple of days and finally made one last park appearance on our last day.  We were so thankful for our familiy's help and especially to Shelby who traded some of her shifts to spend more time with us and to Robbie who provided lots of needed muscles.  

Shelby is in Florida for a couple more months.  She really is having a great time.  I was really proud of her.  I can't tell you how many times I saw her helping other guests and that was even on days she wasn't working.  She is also great tour guide.  Shelby pretty much knows where everything is at and knows many short cuts and the best places to eat.  

My heart was so happy to spend that time in Florida  being a family of 6 again.    The week flew by so fast.     I also forgot how much time little kid naps take up each day, I might have joined them for a few naps, too.  Grace and Matt had quite a few nights where we stayed out till midnight. Combine that with a time change when we returned, I think we are all still catching up on our sleep.  

Grace and her favorite "Mimi"

Daddy and Grace

Matt got to play a part in Belle's story time as Maurice.

We were able to celebrate Grace's family day while we were in FL.

Even Jeff had a part at Belle's story time

Shelby and one of her roommates

My "dabbing" son

Grandma and Shelby

We were able to meet up with one of the sweet families we travelled with to China last year.  Matthew and Calvin became fast friends when we travelled and Matthew kept calling them our cousins.  

Seeing Shelby for the first time

First day at animal Kingdom

This boy was so excited to visit Star Wars

Gracie didn't have much luck taking naps in the stroller, but Matt had no problem.  He makes his Grandpa Kissell proud 

This is the best picture - we love Leland's face

Finally a family picture, complete with Jeff's injured shoulder.

My favorite Disney employee

You have so much going for you, but....

One of the greatest conversations anyone ever had with me went something like "you and your family look like you have so much going for you, but it doesn't look like you have a relationship with God".  This was said by a very sweet friend in a very sincere way.  Wow, how did she know? I had been struggling for some time.  I grew up in the church and even still went on occasion and I even prayed at times.  It was hard for me seeing God as a loving God.  He had lots of rules and anytime I tried to read the Bible it just seemed full of people who were pretty awful.  I was going through life not breaking any major commandments, why would God care about what I did?  A lot of people I saw in churches were pretty flawed, why would I want to go hang with them? Surely he needed to focus on people who had it much worse than me.  I am a pretty good person, right? So why was I still struggling? 

I had so much anxiety.  I had new plans all the time that I thought would fill this vacant hole in my life that I could never get rid of.  If I just.... I will become a wife and mom. Go to college.  That should fix it! Nope.  I will have a successful job - nope.  I will be the best volunteer and help others and put in 110% -  that should bring some fulfillment for sure. New hobbies, clothes, hair styles, vacations, self improvement, home renovations, exercise  -   I had all the things the world told me that would make me complete and whole - but I didn't feel that way.  

Can you relate? Does there seem to be something missing? Are you trying to fill this hole in your life and it still feels empty?  

Some things in my life changed over night and somethings were more gradual. Many things are still a work in process.  I finally confessed to God how much I needed him and I began to see he had been knocking at the front door of my life all this time -  and he cared for  me and wanted me to know him.  Slowly the words in the Bible became real and the stories were no longer about awful people, but flawed people that God still worked in their lives.  My prayers started to move away from ones like please keep me safe on a airplane to telling him how i felt.  I began to see he was in EVERY part of my life.   How had I missed this? 

The biggest things are now knowing his joy and peace.  Oh how he loves us.   Yes I still worry, but now it's so much easier saying God please take this and have your way.  Yes there are still consequences, struggles and there is still pain -but something is so different.  Because his way is best, no matter what.  He cares.  He doesn't give us what we surely deserve and if we ask he forgives us over and over again.  He isn't some stern Father waiting for us to mess up.  He wants what's best for us and it's not going to be like what the world says what is best for us. But what he has to give is amazing and beyond compare.  Being in a relationship with God, doesn't me make now have it all together - it makes me loved and forgiven.  It makes me know how much I need him.  

Guess what - he wants a relationship with you right NOW.  He isn't waiting for you to change or for your to get your act together.  It isn't about you being a good person, it's about you being a loved person.  And He wants to be a part of your life right here and now. Are you willing?

Chinese New Year 2016

We are making progress to celebrate Chinese New Year (Lunar New Year) here in our home.  This is the biggest holiday in China and other Asian countries.  It also accounts for the biggest migration of people at one time in the whole world as people return to their hometowns to celebrate with their families.  So, while we watched the Super Bowl and the little ones were asleep, I decorated our downstairs.  I started picking up red lanterns last year and I finally had enough to hang from our ceilings.  I also bought some silk peach blossoms and made my version of a wishing tree.  I went to the Asian market and purchased several spring happiness poems and wall hangings with Chinese characters.  I have tried to figure out what the actual characters mean, but haven't had any luck.  The joke at our house is that the hangings probably say "eat at Joes" or " A-1 hemorrhoid medicine".  We even tried to use chop sticks and had tradition red envelopes.  Instead of fireworks, we used poppers.  I have also been trying to collect books about China and Lunar New Year. 

We had a new year meal with homemade dumplings, fried rice, longevity noodles, mandarin oranges, green beans, lettuce wraps, moon cakes and salad - and Chinese beer!  We were able to have some family and friends also join us this year.  The past two years I have really good notions to start celebrating, but last year getting ready to bring Grace home kind of ruled out much of anything.  This year we were also able to celebrate at a restaurant with some other families with children adopted from China.  

It's very easy to forget that Grace and Matthew are Chinese.  They speak, eat, and act like Americans in every sense.  I often forget that I didn't give birth to them, they really are so much like us.  Any of the Chinese language they do know at this point, is really only because we listen to Chinese children CDs and watch Chinese YouTube.    I

Ready to go to our local CNY celebration with other adoptive families.

Wishing Tree

Here is a really sweet commercial about chinese new year.  It makes me tear up every time I watch it.  It's easy to forget what Grace and Matt are missing because they have gained so much, but then I watch videos like this and it comes rushing in.  It makes me think of their birth parents and families. I am sure they must be wondering about the children they gave up.   It makes me think a beautiful country that don't really know as their own.  Foods and culture that they don't remember. I hope one day they can find out more about their birth country and even their birth parents.  Maybe even know what the Mandarin wall hangings say...